Darkness has fallen and I gaze out into the winter evening through the glass. February snowflakes are swirling down and wildlife has found its deep hiding places for an overnight nap. I wonder where the birds go, into what place the deer huddle, where other creatures hide from the cold night. The deep woods next door to my homestead hold these secrets in an unseen place.
And I wonder where do people go when the darkness has fallen? When the icy branches of life’s circumstances seem to claw at all of us and the North wind of newscasts brings a deep freeze to dailyness, where do everyday folks go to huddle and hide until it is safe to come out? Is there such a place in real life? What deep forest holds the precious secrets of these unseen places?
I muse about my own life and the journeys of my youthful past which led me on a winding trail of searching, persevering and discovery amidst seasons of deep darkness, trauma, failure, rich fulfillment, healing, creative expression, finding the reason(s) I was born.
As a young student I remember asking for the reasons why I was created and trying to understand how the swirlings going on inside me were representative of those going on in the world around me. The coldness of the times, the darkness of the world were intensifying and I longed for a place to go to hide and feel safe until the fury ceased.
I heard voices, many voices. One however, was different than all others. It came to me in ways that made sense to me deep down inside. It called out to me through other people, from words I’d read, from things I had somehow known. It reached way down into my roots and my inner knower. It felt good and real and clean.
“Come to me all you who are heavy laden and I will give you rest. take my yoke upon you for I am lowly of heart and my burden is easy. You will find rest for your soul.”
So my heart said yes. I came to Him as if He were standing in front of me. The unrest inside me immediately ceased. I wanted more. I investigated the claims of Jesus Christ and longed for Him to be more than a historical figure for me. Could it be true? Was He still alive even in my lifetime? My heart hungered to know the truth so I asked Him to show me if He was.
A series of circumstances began to happen in my life which bore witness to His reality. Conversations with others read me out loud right where I was at, as if I was being guided by something much greater than myself. And the words that kept coming to me…
” Let not your heart be troubled. Believe in God, believe also in Me… I will pray the Father and He will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever, the Spirit of truth…I will not leave you orphans; I will come to you.”
The words were alive and had power. I claimed them for myself. That was in the winter of 1972. Something began to happen inside me and has never stopped. I felt clean, sane, completely new! The truth of who I was always meant to be was released in me and through me ever increasingly. I knew a peace I had never experienced before.
Since that time I have continued to grow in freedom and known intimately the power of living by another’s life reality.
My soul had found its resting place in a very real Christ. Not religion, not trying harder or thinking better…but surrendering my life to Him and discovering my true identity as a well-loved daughter even on my very worst day… or dark, cold winter night. Holy Spirit is my best friend who I cannot live without. He displaced the darkness.
“Arise, Shine! For your light has come! And the glory of the Lord is risen upon you. For behold, darkness shall cover the earth, and deep darkness the people; But the Lord will arise over you, And His glory will be seen upon you.”
So even as the deep woods offer wildlife a place to hide and rest from the storms and cold, amidst the dark… there is a secret place for my heart and soul to rest and be revived. It is a place prepared for me, and for you, since before the dawn of time and the falling of a very cold night.
That place is a person. That person IS peace. Just ask Him to show you if He is real.
You weren’t meant to live in the dark.